Friday, 26 October 2007

soo....this is how it all begins

Right...so here goes...

Its like this....sometimes your mind is just all over the place, but always stuck at a certain thought...person...thing...it can be anything...and it overcomplicates things sooo much!

So you dont know what to do...its one of those things, you seem confused for ages then all of a sudden it hits you! you know the answer...so you think...'i know ill take control...ill change...ill do this that and the other...and even though it may make things better whether it be in your head...with a certain person....thing...anything...but it only solves the problem for a while...

Then it changes...it gets worse again...you get let down and trod on by people...you feel disappointed in yourself like youre not good enough or something....

And it eats at you for days...weeks...some things even years...

But its ok....you can block it out...i mean you're used to it right? Youve been doing it ever since you can remember....the bad things can be blocked out...

but even if you do that its always guna be at the back of your mind...eating away at your confidence when youre down...

it makes it harder to put that smile back on your face...even when you try really hard...

its so stupid...i hate it when i think and think and think and think...and i try2 make everyone happy, but i never think...i should try2 make myself happy...i mean, i always think i am...but when i try to do things, to change, do this, etc i realise that im not happy....it is just postponing the real problems when i should face them head on...but its scary....

and yer...lol...and that...is my random (long ass bible of a-) thought of the day

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