Trying to figure out the point..

Im trying to figure out the purpose of me being here...
Im fed up of feeling like this
Im fed up of seeing people i love get hurt.

Theres only so much a person can endure,
and this year has been hard for all.

So im trying to decide if there is a point for this,
and if i actually have a purpose?
If im actually here for a reason?

Because right now...
i feel like a guinea pig...
seeing how much crap one can endure from whoevers supposed to be up there...

Maybe thats it...maybe its because i dont believe there is anyone up there....i want to..